Madonna’s complex

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It’s that time of year when I like to sit back, relax, and look back at the musical year.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to focus when you’re giggling incessantly at Madonna taking a tumble at the Brits owing to her well-publicised cape ‘malfunction’.

We shouldn’t laugh at the old girl, really. Recently she annoyed fans by coming onstage in Manchester an hour late and then abused said fans for having the temerity to complain.

And then blaming the Glasgow promoters for not being allowed to do an encore (turns out it was her own roadcrew that unplugged her, perhaps the same ones that fitted her cape).

You’d imagine that being known by her one name would be enough for her – Kylie is similarly eponymous, but “Cheryl” for me is still the one on the right out of Buck’s Fizz.

My favourite actual headline of the year has to be “Lenny Kravitz accused of running illegal Bahamas dental surgery” in the NME – sadly the story wasn’t quite as interesting as it seemed, but perhaps indicative of how far the now-freesheet has strayed from the world of alternative sounds.

Justin Bieber on the cover is another matter. Still, if your readership picks up your publication in the bus station, it’s more likely to end up hanging in the loo rather than kept for posterity in the loft.